bradley by idolovepotatoes

(no subject)

"I have this disease late at night, involving alcohol and the telephone. I get drunk, and I drive my wife away with breath like mustard gas and roses. And then, speaking gravely and elegantly into the telephone, I ask the telephone operators to connect me with this friend or that one, from whom I have not heard in years."

Any one of you who can tell me where that's from gets to be my new drinking buddy.

I've never been drunk in my life; have you?

And the answer to Jen's riddle is "he shoots the mirror."